Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
