if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize