if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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