I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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