The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
