just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
