she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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