Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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