I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Congratulations! We have a period
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