How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
