you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He did a backflip because drugs
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize