You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
