I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
two words...techno handjob
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
