i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
