Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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