are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
They should really pass out barf bags in church
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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