i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
