He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize