i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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