question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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