Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
