3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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