fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
