isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
