We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
