She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
