dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
