Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
