He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
