Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
farters have to be the big spoon...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
