He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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