hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
