i think my mom watched the whole time
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
