sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
