i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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