So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
