I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
