The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
