I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
