I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
