Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
