reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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