porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize