i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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