Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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