pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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