i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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