Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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