You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
