I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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