Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
