just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
