I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
