Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
