You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
