And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
