I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize