a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
