yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
