dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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