just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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