Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
