There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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