Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
