ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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