Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
