Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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