my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
