Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
