i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
