haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
